First Semester

Alright, so admittedly, I have not updated this blog in close to 6 months, and that is pretty bad.  For that, I apologize.  However, I do think I have a pretty good excuse.

I’m in grad school.

As previously mentioned, I started at the University of Texas at Austin in the Fall of 2012 to get my MFA in design.  It has already been an experience that has grown and evolved me as an artist in one semester that I can only say I am entering into my second of six semesters with a whet appetite and enthusiasm that will hopefully overshadow the anxiety about the upcoming workload.

I’d like to share with you, in a brief list, some of the moments that have already transpired, and then continue with a reflection on the most important lesson I’ve learned thus far.

So.

The Fall of 2012 has brought about the following:

1.     I live in Texas now.  That still makes me stop and say “wait, what?”

2.     I have met classmates whom have already become fast friends, beyond my recognizing them as brilliant colleagues.

3.     I’m working on a new production that, on the title page, quotes “We are eating pepper and chips!”-Maddy Kelly, Kittens Inspired by Kittens. 

a.     It is one of the most beautiful and heartbreaking plays I’ve read in a long time.

4.     I’ve worked on an international, collaborative partnership with Patch Theatre from Adelaide, Australia-and it was incredible.

a.     It was also my first projection design.

b.     And design on stage at UT.  Shh.

5.     I’ve gotten my ass handed to me in the best possible way.

6.     I’ve become a better collaborator.

7.     I’ve become a better artist.

8.     I’ve become better.  Being able to recognize it already speaks volumes to the students, staff, and faculty. 

In short, I know I made the right choice in coming to school here.

Now then, I have no intention of going into detail on those eight things, because…well, each one could be a future blog entry.  And eight is my lucky number, so that’s that.

On to the most important lesson I’ve learned here already.  Are you ready?

Be honest.

I am pleased to say that I am confident that no one who knows would call me a dishonest man (regardless of what other adjectives ex-girlfriends or stalkers I don’t know about might use).

Yet being in this environment, I have come to understand how important it is to understand the varying and appropriate degrees of honesty.

I have been studying a field of design I am not familiar with, and though some may not wish to show vulnerabilities that come with inexperience, especially in front of colleagues.  I have found that honesty was absolutely the best policy.  I ask questions, and interrogate the simplest concepts to make sure I am not just nodding my head.  I cannot tell you how many times I’ve asked “So, just for my own edification…”

Then there is the honesty with colleagues on their work.  Naturally, this is a program that is filled with a great deal of critique.  We are asked to critically analyze and consider the work of our peers, all whom come from different backgrounds, with different levels of experience.  It can be a daunting task, especially to evaluate someone who you accept is a better craftsman than you.  Ultimately, however, it is a matter of respect.  I respect the work being done by those in my class, and wish them to pay me, and my work, the same respect that is due by being critical and helping me to see the flaws and improvements that can be made in the work.

Next, we have the honesty that has been a pure pleasure to find-the honesty of conversations that stem from trust.  In a semester, we have all already begun to know one another, and through discussions, arguments, and tangential ravings that artists are prone to, we have become more comfortable expressing ourselves.  I have discovered so much about myself, and my own philosophy, just through conversations had in the hallways, or leaving the building after class.  This is the treasure of being surrounded by passionate people-they honestly want to know more, and challenge you to the same pursuits. 

Finally, the hardest and most important lesson came from learning how to be honest with myself.  I am surrounded by craftsmen of different levels, professionals of different experiences, and theorists of varying depth, and it has given me clear perspective on my place in the spectrum of my classmates and career.  It can be a difficult realization, and after a few particularly blunt but poignant critiques from others, I was able to see the two roads I faced here. 

One, I could give up.  Seriously.  I could try and go do something else, and abandon this.  This was not ever suggested to me, and may seem extreme, but I believe that when facing this career and the rigors of this program, there can be no middle ground.  So, I could give up and “go back to law school,” as the running joke stands.   

Two, I can take critical analysis with maturity, and see those with more skill than me as colleagues to learn from, and challenge myself to become better.  Hopefully, dear reader, you realize that I chose the second.  I not only took the critiques I was given to heart, I challenged those with more knowledge and experience to watch me more carefully, to be harder on me, and to push me further. 

I took it on the chin, then looked them dead in the eye with a smile waiting for the next punch.

So that’s what I’ve taken away from the first semester of grad school.  Well, that’s one thing.  Hopefully, this is the return of this blog, because I have so many new experiences to share.

“Being busy does not always mean real work. The object of all work is production or accomplishment and to either of these ends there must be forethought, system, planning, intelligence, and honest purpose, as well as perspiration. Seeming to do is not doing.”

-Thomas Edison

Hook Em

Confidence vs. Arrogance: The Freelancer's Dilemma

“Good art is a talent.  Good design is a skill”

Check your Facebook today?  Or, more likely, the question is, how many times did you check it?  Send any tweets?  Post in your tumblr?  Update your blog (see what I did there…)?

The reality of what is normal and acceptable sharing has become drastically different in the past seven years.  Private lives are all over the internet, secrets are out there for the world to read-and the strange part is that we’re the ones doing it to ourselves.  I freely admit that I am as guilty as the next-yes, you can see me as a baby with soap on my head if you find my Facebook, I live-tweeted the opening ceremonies of the Olympics, and, well, you’re reading my blog. 

As a natural byproduct of this type of information sharing and openness, it has changed the dynamic of our personal, and, more important for this forum, it makes a difference in our work.  Most people who work in the arts are freelancers, in some form or another, and so, logically, we put a great deal of energy into proper and positive self-promotion of ourselves, and our work.  This is a good thing, and it is extremely important.  Every person-freelancer, artist, or otherwise- should be confident and proud of themselves and their work.  Confidence and belief in who you are and what you are doing is a key to being happy, and satisfied with your life.

The danger I’d like to address is what happens when confidence and promotion get tangled together in a perpetuating cycle that leads to unhealthy arrogance.

As mentioned before, the average person nowadays shares far more of their personal lives with the world at large, and it is common (even expected) practice.  With this level of intrusion into our private lives, stemming from the same outlets where we also maintain professional relationships and advertise our freelance business-where do we draw the line? 

Suddenly, a more casual outlet for communication becomes a source of professional networking, and so the end result is a digital bandstand to sing out one’s own achievements with confidence.  Again- this is not a bad thing.  That’s what the internet can be used for.  Facebook, twitter, and a million other things can be forums for professional, personal, or some combination, discussions and networking.

The danger is maintaining keen awareness of the realities of who you are, what you are doing, versus the idea of who you are that is displayed on the internet for all the world to see.

Confidence and a savy sense of self-promotion are good things.  However, a healthy dose of humility also goes a long way.  (That was some awesome alliteration, agreed?).  The best freelancers, artists, and people are the ones who are confident in who they are, without believing in their own greatness.  Especially as an artist, I always find that the times I grow the most, or connect with colleagues is when I admit, honestly, to my struggles and weaknesses; and, conversely, I’ve found that I always uncomfortable or put off when someone cannot seem to stop proving themselves, or have a normal conversation that doesn’t involve a discussion of their successes.

All in all, I suppose I’m just trying to say that it is okay to allow yourself, and the world, to see that you are a human being.  Believe in yourself and your abilities, but be humble enough to know when you can do better, and you may find you are respected even more for admitting your mistakes than recounting your accolades of success.

Unless, of course, you are Mr. Fantastic from the Fantastic Four.  Then, by all means…

Life Vs. Career

Picking a career in your twenties sucks.

I’d just like to get that out of the way, so we can all acknowledge and agree on it.  Nowadays, the twenties are often agreed upon as the most stressful time in a person’s life.  This is because it is the time where you are supposed to set yourself on the course of your life, and steer your career, and personal life forward, while balancing the insanities of being in the most transitional period of your life. 

I’ll admit right now that I’m very fortunate, because I am one of the few people who is sure of what they want to do, career-wise.  Probably.  Anyway, operating under the assumption that I have at least some idea of what I’m doing, I’d like to share the realization that made me more confident to pursue my work.

My job is not everything I am going to do.  I work as a scenic and production designer for theatre, events, and entertainment, and I have a passionate and all consuming love of that work that means I spend more hours than a sane person should working on it.  Yet I recognize there is more than that to me.

In terms of my personal life, I love having friends in other fields because I’m a firm believer in leading a balanced life.  Build connections to as many different things in this world as you can, through people and other means.  Be as connected as you can, and you will find clarity that comes with a wider perspective.  If you only work, talk about that work, and see those you work with, I would wager good money that you are not as happy as you could be.

More importantly, however, I want to discuss how to reconcile your ability to love and care about your work, and not be consumed or changed by it.

I think I can safely assume that everyone reading this either has, or is, a person who seems to change careers so often and drastically that it seems that switching careers is in fact…their career.  That is totally okay.  That’s more than okay-that’s admirable and normal. 

There is a difference, in my opinion, between those who try everything to find what they care about, and those who keep changing what they care about and keep changing themselves to keep up.  A person does not need to lose their identity to fit into a career, but should instead find a career that fits your identity.

I am a designer for events and entertainment.  That is the job that fits who I am, and makes me happy.  However, I also care deeply about the state of the world abroad.  This does not mean that I am going to become a relief worker, because I know that I do not have the strength to make facing that much heartbreak the central part of my life.  It does, however, mean that I am going to use my income to establish new efforts to help out how I can in the future.  This is one small example of what I mean.

My favorite word, since I began writing this blog, and really examining my life and career thus far is “unlimited.”  Be unlimited in what you do.  Break the boundaries of every element of your life.  Be bigger than expectations.  Be yourself, and exist outside definition.

Live your life, without limits.

Taking Chances

“Nothing ventured, nothing gained.”  We live in a world that is, in so many ways, about maintenance.  Keeping the society running, and the gears turning.  That, however, is not what art is about, and does not need to be what anyone’s life is.  It is important to recognize that if everybody decided to risk it all and change the world with billions of different ideas, one of two things would happen: the world would be drastically different, or the world would fall apart. 

That’s what risk is.  More than that, it is the understanding and acceptance that not everything you do will work, but something might.

In art, it means making the uncommon choice, and challenging yourself and those around you to create something truly unique.  Sometimes, your end product will be terrible, confusing, and highly criticized.  And that’s okay.  We, in the arts, have an uncommon gift that we often overlook, or do not want to admit: when we fail, people don’t usually get hurt.

That is precisely why we have an actual RESPONSIBILITY to take chances.  Impressionists took a chance and gave the world a new way of thinking from the realistic portraits that came before then.  Modern art just...well, was modern art, and was certainly a reflection of the risks and realities of a changing time.  Every movement is a risk that, ultimately, expands the minds of the society that motivated it.

As usual, I do not wish to simply speak to the specific effects of this concept on my field, but I’d like to try and convey a wider message to those who might read this. 

Life is about risk.  Every time you find yourself faced with a difficult choice, be completely honest with yourself and ask one simple question.

“What’s the best thing that could happen?”  Not the worst.  Look for the best.  Believe in the success of the risk, because that’s what you care about more anyway.

Ask that girl/guy out.  Take that job that you really want in another city.  Sing that song at karaoke.

Don’t let the fear of failure stop you from doing anything; accept that you will fall many times in life, but you still need to get back up and keep running as hard as you can towards what you want.

Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster took a chance in 1938...and created the first superhero.  I'm just saying.

The Business of Friendship

            Recently, I was fortunate enough to attend my first Helen Hayes Awards in Washington, DC (I say first because I’ll be back…and I’m going to win one eventually, mark my words).  While there, it became apparent how incredibly fortunate I am to work in the arts, surrounded by passionate people.  As much networking and business talk happened throughout the evening, what was clear we were not just celebrating with coworkers, but with friends.

            This is an industry full of talented people who could apply their skills and minds to other fields if they wanted, but it is the passion that drives them to work in theatre-if you were under the impression we did it for the money…I want to know where you are getting your information.

            Every industry is all about your relationships.  Talent and skill, no matter the level, will always go that much further if you are a person whom others like to work with.  Not only that, but you will be happier yourself, to be able to share your work with others who care about it as much as you is an experience I wish for everyone I know.  It did not occur to me how much of a difference that makes until I was in a lobby talking to friends, and every time I saw a familiar face from an old project, I was genuinely excited and interested to know what they were doing, instead of faking a smile and nodding along.

            Now, it is true that you will not get along with everyone.  You will butt heads and have bad experiences, and that is a risk you take when passions and ideas converge-they don’t always mix well.  However, I encourage you to never back away from those fights.  Always commit yourself to your views and ideas, and see conversations through to the end.  I’m also not saying you have to approach every conversation as a fight, because that attitude will also not benefit anyone.  Be honest and advocate for yourself, do not be afraid to upset someone in the pursuit of a better idea.  It is my belief that as long as the goal of a conversation remains about the idea or project, and does not devolve into something personal, then you will gain more respect from, and for, the other person. 

            We work in the business of crafting passion and abstract ideas, and if you fully commit yourself to every project you are on, and engage those around you with the intention of creating the best outcome, then when the dust settles, you are all going to be happy for the whole process as you admire your work over a few beers at opening.

            This is inspired on a personal level because I will also soon be moving, relocating to Austin, Texas to get my MFA from University of Texas in the upcoming fall.  And when we look to the future, it is inevitable that we look back with “graduation goggles” (to borrow a term from my favorite sitcom, ‘How I Met Your Mother’), and I can honestly say that I have been truly lucky to have met and worked with so many people, and made so many friends in the DC theatre community.  It is not a question of ‘IF’, but “WHEN” I will return to work them all again. 

            That said, I do still have at least two more productions in the area before I go anywhere, so I should probably postpone the sentimentality a little bit.

The 28th Annual Helen Hayes Awards at the Warner Theatre

THERE’S NO MONEY IN THE ARTS…And I’m Okay With That

Now, before I get stoned and outcast, I should explain that I am not a communist, anarchist…I like capitalism, I think free enterprise is pretty groovy.  It should also be said that I fully encourage everyone and anyone to donate to your local arts community- especially arts education, because that is absolutely crucial.

            To further contradict myself, I am not arguing the point that less money leads artists to be creative with available resources.  That is absolutely true, and I am constantly amazed by the innovation and spirit that my peers and myself are able to summon when necessity is pushing a project forward.  However, a well-funded project with lots of resources allows a vision to become a reality without compromise, and it is also fulfilling to see that product.

            Confused now?  Good.

            As a freelancer, I am my own boss and run my own business as a scenic and production designer for entertainment and events.  I do not view my chosen path as enlightened, and I will not shepherd the lemmings from their corporate shackles to join me on the plains of freedom and unsupervised…

            Because there is not a lot of money out here, and it is not an easy life.  It is also not the most important job in the world.  It is my calling, and a lifestyle that works for me, and I could not see myself doing anything else-but I will never dare to presume that any one job is more important than another.  It would not work for doctors, lawyers, bankers, and so many others whose work is crucial to our success and survival as a society.  It is, like all of those professions, a part of the whole that is our society.

            So when I say I am glad there is not a lot of money in the arts, it is because a career in the arts, or a career as any independent business, is one that should be entered into out of love and a desire to follow what you know you are passionate about.  Do not strike out on your own because you’ve failed, been fired, or are scared.  Forge your own path if you are going to create one that you think the world needs to see, not because you are afraid of what lies on the paths already ahead of you. 

            ‘Independence’ should not be a way to dress up ‘unaccountable,’ or ‘unwilling to try.’ 

            There are lots of reasons to be on your own.  There are also many reasons to trust the many industries and businesses that exist, or attempt to fix those that are broken instead of leaving the future in a wasteland of scared pioneers among wreckage that may have been saved if we’d tried.

            Find the path that is right for you, not the path that is easiest.

            That said, please like Patrick W. Lord Designs, my business page on facebook, and hire me for your entertainment or event ventures, I’m a small-business owner, I mean…c’mon.

Ryan Gosling gets it (that’s for you, ladies).

The Only Constant in Life is Change

            “The only constant in life is change.”  This is an entry that may end up being more personally telling than intended, but I don’t know.  I’m not attempting to write about myself, is what I’m saying, I believe I’m putting into words a feeling that we, young people in various careers, experience-and may  be particularly true to those of us who work in the arts.

            I am 23 years old, have a great career, great friends, and am in a wonderful situation.  However, I am hoping to move and enter an entirely different phase of my life.  This was inspired, in part, because I began to feel comfortable.  I began to notice that I was no longer pushing myself, and I was not living up to who I could be.  Was I a lazy ne’er-do-well (like that?  It’s that kind of clever language that keeps you coming back)?  No.  But I was allowing myself to become content, and at this young age, that is not something I want.  I don’t want to be settling, or comfortable.  I want to be challenged, and growing.  I want to hunt new opportunities, and experience new things while I can.

            I say ‘while I can’ because I am currently unencumbered.  I am not dating anyone.  I do not have a regular job.  My family is spread out, literally, across the globe.  Hell, I’m not even under a lease.  At this stage in my life, I have absolutely nothing holding me to anywhere, and thus, nothing holding me back.  This is not meant as an attack on those I know who ARE settling down, have significant others, and are finding stability in their lives.  I applaud you.  Perhaps this is the part where my point begins to veer towards my specific choice to work in the arts.

            I should mention, I’m writing this particular entry from my hotel room in Seattle, a country away from Washington, D.C. (though I am in Washington…I don’t like this, it’s confusing), where I’ve come to call home.  I’m a creature who needs change and stimulation in their life.  Those new and varied experiences affect my vision, and my art, and thus, my work.  As people, we are shaped by experiences, and so it only serves to reason that the more varied those experiences are, the more interesting our shape will become.  However, I recognize the other argument, and know that many people are in fields of work that require devotion, and commitment to consistency.

            I am not implying a state of travel and flux creates cooler people, and stability is for the boring and dull.  If anything, I am expressing how thankful I am that my work allows me to live in such a state of fluidity.  I love the fact that I will be moving to an entirely new part of the country in about 6 months, and cannot wait to see what will come from that experience.  I cannot wait to see what kind of designer, and person, I will be because of it.

            Am I saying I will never settle down, and become a 21^st century nomad?  No.  That would be awesome, but no.  I’m one of the few people who can comfortably say that I cannot wait until I’m in my 30s, and, with any luck, have found the woman I’m going to spend my life with, and live a slightly less crazy life.  I’ll say it-I look forward to having kids some day.  But knowing that is part of my future does not mean I am going to chase it.  I’m going to be a better husband, and a better father, having lived as full and experienced life as I can. 

            Live your life for yourself, and never stop challenging yourself.  Trust that your life will work out how it is supposed to.  Life will surprise you with so many glorious and beautiful things.  I promise.

            If not, I’ll buy you a beer.

            And now, here are a couple funny pictures I found on the interwebs.